7 years of famine and 7 years of feast

It was seven years ago that I married my husband. I choose the 2nd of July thinking, that it would afford us long weekends to languish in our love for one another. Oh, it's almost laughable how wrong I was, but I haven't yet found enough grace to laugh, but I will. For He promises me this.

Mark's calling to be a doctor, was a calling on my life too. So, all but one of our wedding anniversary weekends have been filled with Mark away on rotations, taking call, in-processing at new duty stations, or moving to new places, and in these years we have not had a single long weekend to celebrate. So much for wise planning!

So, it is in these thwarted plans that God has been teaching me over these seven married years, and the two years prior when we were engaged and dating, that He is my first love. I must seek to be filled up by Him first. Oh, what a hard walk for me at times. I ache for time with Mark, who I love and cherish so deeply. The disappointments of not having weekends away, or of not having an anniversary dinner alone together can sting sometimes. And, the loneliness of his long hours can make me sorrowful.

But, today, I choose Joy, because in my obedience to love Mark, I also know I love my Lord. His walk to Calvary was not joyous, but he was willing to walk in pain, bear the burden of my sin, and love me dearly despite it all. Oh, how much I see of Mark in this. When many of his peers are 15 years younger or more, he with energy and enthusiasm, most days, pulls himself out of bed at 4 a.m. to tenderly care for his patients with wisdom, care, and genuine compassion. I am amazed. Unwaveringly, he does his best knowing he serves a God who expects no less of him. And, it pains him, too, to leave his wife and two daughters behind...missing precious moments of their days, even weeks sometimes. But, the cross we each carry is not light, not easy. But, we do not carry it alone.

Thank you God for the gift of grace and salvation. Because today, when I want to pity my circumstances and lament for the time alone, instead, I will choose to celebrate you and thank you for the many gifts you've bestowed upon me, but especially your grace and salvation.

I celebrate your wisdom in choosing Mark for me, in choosing his career path, and in having Him serve you, especially when some are so close to death, and potentially meeting you. May his work today glorify You, and may the tenderness with which he cares for his patients soothe their tired, sick, and weary souls.

I know Mark's ability to soothe, comfort, and heal, for even in the briefest moments we share each day, he extends it to me. I am blessed to be a recipient of it many times throughout our years together. And, oh how I love him all the more Lord because of this gift.

Lord, when I struggle, thank you for my friends, who love me, pray for me, and appreciate me even amid the struggle of my journey Lord. You have blessed me abundantly.

Lastly, Lord I pray the next 7 years of our marriage be years of feast and celebration, for we have toiled, and we seek REST in you Lord. We do not deserve it, but by grace and faith, I trust you will provide it!