Joyful obedience

Yesterday, December 17th, Mark and I discovered that he was not accepted as a Nephrology fellow in the military. In hearing the much-awaited news, I was immediately disappointed and tears welled up in my eyes. I felt a personal and deep ache for my soulmate--the man I love completely. My stomach flipped when I first heard his voice on the phone...he didn't need utter a word about the decision, and I knew the outcome of the match. Immediately, my heart truly ached for Mark, who, over the past three years, has experienced many triumphs and disappointments.

Residency has been grueling, petty, and down right hostile much of the time.

Mark, however, rather than succomb to the bitterness and pettiness of the experience, amazes me by growing more deeply in his compassion for patients, passion for medicine, and joyful obedience to God's ultimate will for his and our lives. His personal sacrifices, pain, and complete confidence in God bolsters me. I would throw a pitty party for him, but he wants none of that nonsense. He acknowledges his disappointment, but instead of looking inward for answers to questions he could never have answers to, he looks upward for God's grace and wisdom. This upward gaze inspires me. And it should. If my studied and deliberate approach to faith could provide the peace and contentment that his easy acceptance does, I would be a holy woman.

I'm not at all. So, for now, I pray that I gain the joyful obedience that he displays in his walk as husband, father, doctor, and follower of Christ.